How to keep an idiot entertained
*press down*
…………………………………
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press up*
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive,
Not how U listen but how U Understand,
Not what U see but how U feel,
and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW..
Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
A million words would not bring you back,
I know, because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears.
I know, because I've cried.
Hey friend remember that without stupidity
there can be no wisdom and
without ugliness there can be no beauty.
so the world needs YOU after all!
Minds are like Parachutes.
They work best when open
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together
Aim for the stars.
But first, aim for their bodyguards
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction
Why were males created before females?
Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog,
to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ...
Now read without the word dog.
All day I thought of you....
I was at the zoo.
CNN News.
Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
Hi there, I'm a human being!
What are you?
Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing
I heard someone whisper your name,
but when I turned around to see who it was,
I notice I was alone,
then I realize it was my heart
telling me that I miss you.
My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U,
My arms are empty coz I can't hold U,
My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U
but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!
I need you to know our friendship means a lot -
If you cry then I cry,
if you laugh then I laugh..
if you jump out the window
I look down then....I laugh again
True friends warm the heart,
make you laugh, smile...
yes, you are a true friend.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
Always draw a circle around the ones you love,
never draw a heart because hearts can be broken,
but circles are never ending.
Memories last forever, they simply never die,
true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested
I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends.
Each day I tell those Angels,
you are my best of friends.
Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.
Without humor, life sucks
Without Love, Life seems hopeless.
But without a friend like you,
life is nearly impossible.
If you need advice, text me...
if you need a friend, call me ...
if you need me, come to me...
if you need money........
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
It takes a minute to have a crush,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
If you can't change your mind,
are you sure you still have one?
Marriage is a three ring circus:
an engagement ring,
a wedding ring,
and suffering
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women
What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall
To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for “Exams”.
Because it teaches how to manage “Time”
and tackle “Emergencies”!!
To accomplish great things,
We must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,
Exams are like Girl friends
- Too many questions
- Difficult to understand
- More explanation is needed
- Result is always fail!
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I’ll study
It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS
You must be a good runner because
you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because
you have stolen my heart,
and
i am always a bad shooter because
I Miss You Always...
True love is like a pillow
U could HUG it when u r in trouble
U could CRY on it when u r in pain
U could EMBRACE it when u r happy
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW
Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
success before work,
& divorce before marriage.
but the Best part is
Friend comes before relatives :)
A true Friend
is not like
',",'Rain',",'
Which Rained & left away.
A true friend is like
~_~AIR_~_~
Symptoms silient but always around u :)
Take Care alot
May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.
Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.
GALILEO:
great mind
EINSTEIN:
genius mind
NEWTON:
extraordinary mind
BILL GATES
brilliant mind
ME:
master mind
YOU:
oh!
never mind
I have a confession to make
ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night I see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!
Some times small
things in life
hurt a lot.....
If u don't agree
with me....
Then >>>>
Try to sit
on a Common Pin !!
To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u
Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!
Your attention please
Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...
Hey listen......
Two people were asking
Me about you,
I give them ur address
And cell no,
They will b visiting u soon,
Their names r joy n happiness.
Let me
draw ur
face!
Dont
MOVE!
Nearly
finished
OK
Done!
Wanna have
a look?
.,|!|,.
( o)(o)
( ,)
Height of fashion?
Dhoti wid zip.
Height of secrecy?
Blank visiting card.
Height of stupidity?
Looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
Height of honesty?
Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
Height of de-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Height of timewasting?
U reading the whole msg.
Friendship is the rainbow between
2 hearts
sharing of 7 colors.
1.LOVE
2.SADNESS
3.HAPPINESS
4.TRUST
5.FAITH
6.SECRET
7.CARE
Take Care n Have a nice day:-)
A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI
(use mirror to read)
pls dnt erase!
its really interesting
This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs
it takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)
I
miss
"STARS"
sTARs think i m serious
bUt i m joking!
I
miss
"MOON"
m00n thinks i m serious
bUt im joking!
I
miss
"U"
U think i m joking
but i m serious!
Medicines and friendship
cure our problems.
The only difference is that,
Friendship don't have an expiry date.
Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... :)
So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know.
Just like I did by sending this sms to you...
Roses r red violets r blue.
Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you
Dear customer,
U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender.
Sndr's watng?
3 monkeys escaped from zoo!
Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is...
Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey
I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL
Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me.
It was the sweetest thing that ever could be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true
it was the day I met you.
Love is like a cloud...
love is like a dream...
love is 1 word and everything in between...
love is a fairytale come true...
Coz I found love when I found U.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born beautiful,
but what the hell happened to you?
Girls are like phones,
we like to be held and talked too,
but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait....
Searching....
searching...
still searching....
sorry,
NO BRAIN found...!
Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!
This sms can only be read by someone SMART,
try again,
again,
maybe you are..
just not smart??
one more time.
hey don't force it ugly!!!
Last night I wanted to send you a msg,
But all I could write was,
“noh ss!w !”.
It didn’t make mush sense
Until I read it upside down...
I'd love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blanks with YES or NO.
1.______I don’t have Brain.…
2.______I don’t have Sense.…
3.______I am Stupid....
A physiological study has proved that
all the fools, donkeys, monkeys
used their thumbs to read the messages
Don’t change your finger know its too late.
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardarji: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardarji: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
108
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Sardarni: Sardarji, sirf yehi apka bacha hai.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!
A MAN TO SANTA-- UR FRND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME,
HE RUSHES TO HIS HOME
AND COME WITH IN HALF AN HOUR N
SLAPPED TAT MAN N SAID--
HE WAS NOT MY FRND..
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this..
Santa Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The..
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Santa spoke up: "We are all human beans."
Sardarji: Me E-Mail bnana hu. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.
Sardarji Friend : Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.
Santa was riding on a horse,
He jumped the red light & a cop whistles'
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says,
"Le Karle Number Note"..
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